Music
I was cranking out song after song after song for a while there because I’ve got so much pent up aggression and hate for certain individuals, writing songs (and singing them) is my way of release.
This and “Egostatic” are about the same person, my ex from last year who made me cry in front of all my friends and family on my birthday by screaming at me, and then about a month later broke up with me because I’m “a drug addict” because I take painkillers, both for my TMJ and for recreation;) and because I’m a “sociopath” and a “slut”.
So I wrote songs about it, had a shirt made for me that says “Sociopath” in bright yellow letters and I take more drugs now than ever (and enjoy every moment of it. I can’t do any super fun drugs though because I can’t snort anything.)
Also, if you’ll notice the last part of this song…he’s not the only one who found someone else.
Sucker.
This was the first song I wrote to one of my brother’s instrumental trip hop songs (Antiks is my brother Will, in case no one was able to figure that out, haha.)
One night I was listening to the instrumentals he has on his myspace (www.myspace.com/antiks) and came across a song called “Untitled” and the melody just came to me and the words just came out. It was like magic. That’s the way I always feel when I write a song, it’s just something magical that happens.
Anyway, so I made a HORRIBLE demo on a cassette tape on my mom’s old ass handheld cassette recorder because my mic on my computer wasn’t working, I wrote out the lyrics and sent it to my brother, just texting him with “There’s a surprise for you coming in the mail soon”.
See, he’s known I’ve been singing opera since I was 7 and rock since I was 12 but he didn’t know I could actually WRITE lyrics and melodies, I think he though I’d just end up being a Gwen Stefani impersonator (I’m kidding! He’s going to smack me for that).
I always sing No Doubt at karaoke and at my 8th grade talent show, the first time he or anyone else heard me sing outside the chorus I was in all throughout middle school, I sang “Spiderwebs” by ND so that’s what he’s used to hearing me sing.
He texted me when I was staying in Long Beach for a week and was like “Holy shit! That song blew my mind!!!”
So we changed a few lyrics here and there because I thought they were cheesy after the initial magic of “I wrote my first song!” wore off and when I was in Portland in March 2007 we recorded this, “The Rest Of Your Life” and “Pig”.
Lyrics for PIG
Enemy
Friend to me
Never needed you or I
And it’s no wonder
You’re the one and one
Who took the victim
Make it fun
Make it mine
Make it victory
Watching me fall apart
Making me wonder
If this is what you
Wanted from the start
And I don’t need to hear
What I already know
You know
Anything, anything
That wasn’t before my eyes
Make it trust
Make it cold
Make it lust
Make it anything you fucked
Make it humility
I don’t need to
Hear it from you
I know
I know
I know you’re never the one
At fault, you’re always so true
I know nothing pertains to you
I know, I know
Anything, anyone that you
Had behind me
Was all because of your honesty
I know, I know
What you didn’t think through
Is that I did
The same to you
For innocence, common or faded
I’m the one who fell for all of your
Tricks and rhymes
If anything, you’re the one fading
I’m the one
The one you say made them
Everything is my fault
Nothing is yours this time
For all that you gave me
You took more than twice
And all that you made me
Breakdown in my eyes
Twisted back and forth till it’s even
The currency is insults and weakness
Can’t complain that
Everything else is locked inside
But I’m the one who’s done all the feeling
I’m the one who’s gong down breathing
Being guilty of having a heart
Is not a crime
And all this time
All this time
So many lines
that worked
Every time
for all that you gave me
You took more than twice
And all that you made me
Breakdown in my eyes
I’ve lost myself
Beating myself
For your time
And now that
It’s over
I want you
To die